Update on "Go Away Go Away Go Away".

Was the girl next door trying to let me know that my car window was opened. Maybe I should stop putting my jammies on at 5 o'clock. But then I'll be sitting around fully dressed waiting on a knock that will never come. And then I'll need to put my jammies on anyway when 'later' comes.

What do normal people do I wonder.

Go Away Go Away Go Away

Waaargh someone just chapped my door. Like my actual door not the close door. Highly doubtful I would hear the close door anyway. Omg I hate it when someone chaps my door!!

There was no possible way I could answer it. I'm in my jammies. Its sooo obvious I'm at home tho, my hall light is blazing bright and I was in the toilet singing away to myself. I'm pretty sure they would have heard me.

Had the hall light not been on I could have quickly ran to bedroom and put on joggies but with the hall light on and that damn window in my front door they would have seen me running.

I cant believe it, I hardly ever have the hall light on!

I thought they were never going to go away, bloody trapped in my loo like an eejit so I was.

Oaftttt, why do simple things have to be so complicated!!

Hmm Where Do I Begin?

Had a couple of rather interesting days there. I think non-payer had decided to avenge my dumping him out of Dave episode. OMG I cant be arsed typing all this out. To cut a long story short he emailed me, I replied with a cheeky remark. He took great exception to this and sent the email to my Project Manager (and a random mechanical engineer?). I have access to my Project Manager's inbox so seen what he had done, much hilarity ensued.

The following morning he sends me an email direct complaining about my cheeky email to him. It must have been playing on his mind all night hee hee! I hum and haw trying to decide whether to email him back myself or let the bosses deal with it. After careful consideration I decided to let the bosses deal with it. He gets pulled up for being a complete wank and I havent seen sight of him since! Lalalalaaaa!

Here is the copy and paste job of said email (note: some details have been changed to protect the innocent, i.e. me being sued or something on the off chance of someone coming across this!)

Oh and before you starting reading I should tell you that he isn't a doctor. He is an engineer. Who likes to call himself doctor. Perhaps I shall start calling myself Doctor! Doctor Kirsty. I like it man!

Anyway enjoy the emails.....I know I did!


-----Original Message-----
From: Doctor I'm So Important I Call Myself Doctor
Sent: Monday, August 28, 2006 10:03 AM
To: Minute Originator Cc: Kirsty
Subject: Minutes of Meeting
Importance: High

Any idea when these minutes will be available as I need to come up to speed with the discussions?

Thanks,

Doctor I'm So Important I Call Myself Doctor

-----Original Message-----
From: Kirsty
Sent: 28 August 2006 10:05
To: Doctor I'm So Important I Call Myself Doctor; Minute Originator
Subject: Minutes of Meeting

As long as it takes me to decipher Jim's handwriting.

-----Original Message-----
From: Doctor I'm So Important I Call Myself Doctor
Sent: Monday, August 28, 2006 10:07 AM
To: Kirsty; Minute Originator
Subject: Minutes of Meeting

Its not that bad, I've seen it too!! Can we agree to get these out today?

-----Original Message-----
From: Kirsty
Sent: 28 August 2006 10:09
To: Doctor I'm So Important I Call Myself Doctor; Minute Originator
Subject: Minutes of Meeting

Well if its that easy you can type them up.

-----Original Message-----
From: Doctor I'm So Important I Call Myself Doctor
Sent: Tuesday, August 29, 2006 08:22 AM
To: Kirsty
Subject: Minutes of Meeting

Kirsty,

I am not sure if I misinterpreted your email yesterday, or just caught you on a bad day, but I really don't appreciate this kind of reply. If I need you to do something for me then I don't expect to be told to do it myself. We'll leave it like that and say no more about it but I hope it doesn't happen again.

Doctor I'm So Important I Call Myself Doctor

Can you believe it!! Practically the whole site is laughing up their sleeves at him now, its the best email ever! Kerry said it sounds like someone out of the Office, and omg do I agree with that!! Its VERY David Brent! Doctor David Brent I mean.

I emailed his email to my Project Manager and my actual boss. He got pulled and told that I do NOT work for him and not to piss off the Secretary.

Ayyymen to that fuckwits!

The Rage

I have some bubbling rage in my belly. And none of it is because of Bellend (for a change!). Mainly that bitch Alison, non-payer (the grass!) and that bitch Alison again and the fact that there seems to be a 2 hour delay on faducking emails! whats the point of emails that take 2 hours to reach their destination?? Probably fling in a wee bit of the pink headed toadface for good measure too.

Breathe breathe breathe. I hope he brings me a donut back. Actually I dont cos they're very fattening.

James turned up at mine this morning and asked if he can stay in my flat all day (i.e. take a sicky without the 'rents knowing!). I said "aye" but suspect I may live to regret it. If he so much as lets one person in my flat I will go wild!

I Heart the Internet!

Just won this little Karen Millen number off Ebay for a mere £30 (thanks to Auction Sniper ;-) ). I'm 99% sure Leanne tried this on last winter, so if I cant shoehorn myself into it (size 8) then I can sell it to Leanne. The only concern I have is that its "used". I've never bought anything "used" off Ebay, so first place I'll be going when I get my hands on it is the dry cleaners. I know Genivieve has bought used things off Ebay and she is a stickler for 'clean' so I'm comforting myself with that thought.

And guess what else? I just logged into Quidco, some monies must have been recieved this weekend, they're sending me £140! Which is almost the exact amount I've spent this weekend!! £104 on Strawberrynet. £30 on ebay. And a fiver in Morrisons! I might just have enough left over for a Happy Meal haha.

Bellend came over this morning, that was blurry nice, he makes my heart burst. Then I stripped the bed, had a shower, dried my hair, did 2 washings and the hugest ironing in all the land (it had been building up in the boxroom since June, I cant believe how much bigger the boxroom looks now!). All in all its been a very productive Sunday!

Damn Internet

Oh my bloody god I just spent £151.50 on perfume and juicy tubes. Actually I got a discount so it only (only!) came to £104.53. I bought 'Gucci Envy Me' (on a whim, I have NO idea what it smells like!), 'Coco Chanel Mademoiselle' (the twist & spray version which I've been lusting after for months!) and a Fleur de Cupidon juicy tube all pour moi. I bought a bottle of Armani Black for James' birthday (again I have no idea what it smells like), a limited edition silver bottle of Givenchy Blue for Bellend (its delish!!) and a Juicy Tube Plump in Rose Sorbet for Leanne's Christmas. £61 on myself!!! I think I'll have to pass the Gucci and the Juicy Tube to my mum & dad to give to me for Christmas! Ooh or my birthday.

I was so tired after yesterday’s events that I went to bed at half 9 and was sleeping in no time. Woke up at half 3 (for the 2nd time this week!), for some reason I thought my new fire had fallen over so got out of bed and had a quick check – it was fine. Was up at 9am this morning, took my mum to Morrisons and my Gran’s. Whilst at Gran’s took my Grampa to my Uncle’s grave. Although its not really a grave as his ashes were just sprinkled around. I think its my Gran’s mum’s grave they were sprinkled around. Not entirely sure.

The traffic was murder polis today. It took me 50 minutes to get from my mum’s to my flat. It usually takes me about 3 minutes! No idea what was going on.

Since I got back to flat I’ve eaten practically a whole packet of flaming pancakes. I really shouldn’t buy bloody junk food. I cant help myself but eat it all in one go. And now I’m too full up to eat my healthy stir fry!

Munter that I am.

Well its Friday again

I found out today why the guy in work flung himself in front of a train. Its an awful story and really upsetting and I'm not going to publish it. At the moment its all hearsay anyway.

Not long after I found out the story behind it all Bellend invited me up to his office for some bang bang. Of course I toddled right up there cos I can never say "no" to him.

Straight after the bang bang I burst into huge big tears. We had literally just finished and I was sorting myself out when they started. I sat down on a chair and hid my face behind my hair for what felt like ages. He had gone round behind his desk to switch off his laptop and pack up and I was sittin in the chair facing him. I tried for ages to keep the tears in but there was no way they were staying in. Eventually I lifted my head but covered my face with my hands and told him I was crying. He's told me in the past that he doesnt like "greetin women", I think he's scared of them, so I was so scared to admit what was happening. As soon as I told him he leapt towards me but I told him I was fine and tried to laugh it off. His face was a picture! He gave me some hankies and a glass of water and I told him again I was fine. By this time I'd managed to stop and was laughing it off. I think he was a bit terrified tho. I felt awful for him, he's such a grrrr man hahaha.

I dont know what on earth made me cry. This week has been a bit wild, I've been getting myself awful worked up about things all week. He takes it all in his stride but then I guess its easier for him. I think the guy in work thing affected me too.

Gads I dunno. Maybe I'm due.

Anyway its all over now. Feeling knackered. And got lovely lovely Friends on t'telly.

Oh my fire came. I do indeed heart it.

Winter is a-coming...

.....and I have ordered this to keep me warm:


















Lalala roll on winter baby!!! I heart my new fire! I'll heart it even more when I actually have it I'm sure!

So, what else has been happening? Absolutely nowt! SMcK not being particuarly annoying. Couple of e-mails a day. I can handle that. Bellend is a whole other story. We're bestest pals today. It keeps me on my toes thats for sure. In fact everyone was my bestest pal today, Alison, Diane, the whole site! Alison I can cope with but that Diane one keeps talking to me as though I'm her best bud and calling me "missis"!!! Fck off you pink haired toad.

Currently relaxing in front of Bad Girls with a nice big vodka. And when winter finally does come in, I'll be relaxing in front of Bad Girls and my new fire, with a nice big vodka!

I think the postman has finally given up on us. I havent received a scrap of mail all week. I'm not particuarly bothered as all important stuff is done online anyway but I want my Tesco vouchers!!!!! So I can swap them for Goldsmiths vouchers and buy myself something nice. Cos we all know I never buy myself anything hahaha. I have my eye on this little gem:

But I dont think my Tesco vouchers will run to £875. I do think its excellent value for money tho!

Its Wednesday

Had a huge rant at him this morning. Actually had a few rants at him, all on the same subject. Then sent a particularly disturbing email threatening to stab myself. He's now ignoring me.

And I dont blame him.

Heard some awful news yesterday which I probably shouldnt speak about after such trivial matters above. However. Was told yesterday that one of the contractors, who used to come in here every so often, flung himself in front of a train at the weekend. I can only imagine he must have been very ill. Poor man. And his poor family too.

Observation of the day!

Puppy Love has very long fingers!

Pants on fire?

Your lies are always found out.

Drunk in Newcastle my faducking erse.

Your so called friend is a mine of information. And you're making my glands swell up.

Am so mad! Again.

I bloody hate women

Grrrr faducking bitch Alison. Faducking bitch Diane.

I hate working with women. Bring back the days when it was just me and the guys.

Faducking Alison wants to rearrange my wee desk area to put 4 other people in. Ermmmm hellooooo and where am I going to go??

Faducking cocksocket. I hate her!

"And now the end is near, and we must face the final curtain"

Awwww tonight is the finale of Big Brother (apart from the BBQ on Sunday).

No more Dicky put downs, no more Nikki tantrums, no more Petey weirdness, no more Glynn being Welsh haha.

Will Pete and Nikki stay together outside the house? Will Aisleyne have to be surgically removed from her thong and Dickie from his cowboy hat? Will Glynn become prime minister? Will Jennie's boyfriend be at her eviction? Will someone chuck a glass of acid over Grace?

Thank god for Heat magazine!

Peter Pan Syndrome

So yeah, on Saturday night I was told by the bride-to-be's 19 year old cousin that I looked 19.

WTF!

I know everyone says that its a compliment but coooome on, I'm 27 for crying out loud. I'm not saying I'd like to look middle aged or anything but a wee bit closer to my age would be good.

Any helpful hints on looking a bit closer to my age would be received gratefully!

I've tried having my hair cut shorter. I was wearing an LBD so it couldnt have been my clothes. I know I'm short but surely that's not it. Plus I was sitting down when she said it. Is it cos I have no lady bumps? Maybe....

Ok so anyone wishing to contribute to my ladybumps fund please contact me and I'll give you my paypal details!

Help me go from this:

To this:

Weird

How come all day long he's been snippy, then I get home and he's all happy and talkin bout 'us' 2 years ago at a night out?

Maybe he was just busy during the day.......?

Bloody men.

"I'm in the money..."

Just back from lunch and an un-shopping expedition.

We went to Frankie & Bennys at Xscape. It was yuuuuum. Reckon I've put on hunners of weight but who cares! I still have loads of reduced sugar Sugar Puffs left haha.

Then we went over to Braehead where I returned a dress, 3 tops and a pair of trousers, then we went to TK Maxx where I took back the crazy sunglasses. James had a good ole laugh when he seen me in the Elton John sunglasses. He couldnt believe my mum let me buy them whilst keeping a straight face.

So today I made about £150. But James borrowed another £100. Am sooo in the money when he gets his bank card thru!

My flat is so hot its hard to breathe, cant believe its the middle of August and I'm typing that sentence!! Need to switch laptop off, the heat from it is incredible. I'm turning into Tommy Tomato again.

How Great Are Lazy Sundays??!!

Omg after eating nothing but one bowl of reduced sugar Sugar Puffs per day since Wednesday (so I could get into my dress for hen night last night) I nipped out to McDonalds this afternoon. I returned to the flat with a Big Mac meal (no pickle and extra cheese), with a Deluxe Flake McFlurry for afters. The Sunday Mail, News of the World, packet of Flamin Hot Monster Munch, packet of Chilli McCoys, and BBLB on t'telly.

Fckin Heaven!

Am now listening to little Paulo Nutella for the millionth time this weekend.

Little Paulo Nutella in action

My bruvva is back his hols today. His plane should have landed 25 minutes ago. Quite surprised he never phoned me for a lift. But I dont think Little Dave could handle three boys and three suitcases. That's if he has come home at all. Hopefully he has learned his lesson after his little incident last year.

Bellend text last night (well early hours of this morning), he hasnt done that for such a long time. Then he was texting again this morning, I heart him sooooooo much that sometimes I feel as though my chest could just explode. Its intense maaaan.

And I'm off tomorrow and Tuesday. Does it get any better?? Oh and when I get back to work I'll have SMcK to laugh at hahahaha. I seriously hope he doesnt look the image I've conjured up in my head or I wont be able to keep a straight face!

Lalalaaaa!!

Ooooh how bizarre, I looked at mobile for first time in ages and it just lit up with a text message. Leanne is traumatised as she is hungover therefore trapped in the house with no Monster Munch. I would invite her up here but I'm very comfortable in my pants and vest, I wouldnt inflict that sight on anyone apart from Bellend unfortunately.

Oh yesterday I discovered the joy of hair wax. I wish I'd discovered it years ago. No more Mr Majeika hair!!!!

Now I dont know whether to get stuck into the Argos catalogue or put a DVDVD on. Man how stunning was Elvis. Think I will just dribble over the Elvis vids on youtube.

Awww Leanne has just text to tell me she's coming to mine. Will need to get dressed...boooo.

Bugger Orf!

I wish all these frigging eejits would stop leaving their banal comments and attaching links to their site. I am NOT going to visit any website that looks even vaguely suspicious so you are all wasting your time.

Peace

Ahhh everything is rosy.

I have risen above it all and am in a place of contentment.

I really am.

Honest.

How weird that SMcK is starting on site. I reckon I will take that Monday off. If he gives me any gyp I will be telling him where to go. Sad man.

I told Bellend but he never even acknowledged that I'd told him. Just carried on talking bout something else. He wouldnt give a damn anyway. So long as nobody finds out his dirty little secret he's not interested in anything concerning me.

Got soooo drunk on Friday night and ended up with my head down the toilet. It was disgusting.

See what I'm driven to?

Just stomp all over me

People (i.e. men) can be so nasty sometimes.

Woohoo

I'm off tomorrow and Friday lalalalalalaaaaaaaa. Forgot to put Monday on my holiday form tho, dohhhhh. Guess i will just have to come back.

Mmmmm I spy with my little eye something beginning with 'B'.

Hee hee hee

Naughty naughty

Dave

After his flat tyre at the weekend Dave appears to have another little problem.

Last night on the way home I discovered that sometimes when I'm flooring it, the accelerator pedal stays floored even when my foot has come off it!

I had a scary scary moment whilst behind a very slow Jaguar. Fortunately I remembered that as well as an accelerator, I also have a brake pedal.

I wonder if there's an old Opal Fruit stuck underneath my accelerator.

I wish mechanics would come to me instead of me having to go to them. I must check yell.com for mobile mechanics.

Very very bored today. Still no motivation. If my dad could see me, he'd say I need a 'tonic'. I say I need a good night out and a bucketful of vodka! Or a big kick up the erse!!