Bye Bye Bertie

I went back to work. It was indeed mince. No worries. Had myself some interesting conversations with Mister Man.

I made myself a friend called Bertie. He was a wee spider who ran across my desk. I trapped him under a glass (but frequently lifted it to give him some air) and gave him a big pitta bread crumb to eat and a paperclip to play with. He was unimpressed. In the end I got one of the guys to release him back into the wild (i.e. chuck him out the window). Bertie was the highlight of my day...and I missed him when he was gone!

Think they're gonna start building the new houses behind my flat soon, check the big truck and digger (or forklift) in the distance. I cant wait to spy on all my new neighbours! Yee ha!

So Confused!!!

I've spent so long in bed that I cant remember how to work the living room remote control.

I didnt go to work today. Definitely going to work tomorrow. I am NOT taking Night Nurse tonight. That stuff is wild.

How gay is Mourinho's dog??

Heaven

Fresh duvet cover, fresh pillowcases, fresh sheets, fresh mattress topper.....

Gordon Ramsey on t'telly and tea & toast in bed!

Day 2 - Sick

Sweet Jaysus I cant believe the time!

Last night I filled myself up with painkillers and Night Nurse and settled down for double bill of the Sopranos; the result being that I slept until half past 12 this afternoon! And now its almost 3pm!!

My throat still hurts but I'm going to go back to work tomorrow (booo hisss) as I cant stay off forever. I'm a wee bit worried that I may have posion in my throat so might go to doctor's on Friday. Will have a think about that one.

Even though my throat hurts my appetite appears to be very strong. Yesterday I managed to consume a full pizza and a multitude of other foodstuffs. Today so far I've had tea, pitta bread with turkey, packet of snack a jacks and a whole chocolate easter egg. And I've only been awake for 3 hours.

I also managed to fit in some online shopping and ordered myself a bottle of Whipped Bronze St Tropez and Season 2 of the Sopranos. Oh yes indeedy Anthony Soprano will soon be mine!

I dont think Dave is enjoying his time with Uncle James. Uncle James really doesnt like Dave (which I think is a pure cheek!), I suspect the feeling is mutual. Uncle James phoned me at 7am this morning to inform me that Dave's petrol light was flashing and he was just about to enter the Clyde Tunnel!! What I didnt tell Uncle James was that Dave's petrol light was flashing when I left Dave at my mum's house on Sunday!! How Dave has not broken down yet I do not know! Uncle James is not the most observant.

Sick!

I am ill. Woke up in the middle of the night with a really awful sore throat. "Shock horror thinks me, the tonsillitis is back!", but no, it just seems to be a sore throat on its own. Very odd.

I took today off work as I thought it was tonsillitis but probably be back tomorrow (sigh).

Had a busy enough weekend. Chilled out on Friday night, I like to do nothing on Friday nights, watch Ugly Betty and reeeelax. On Saturday I went for lesbean lunch with Helen. We went to Scotts. Lunch was ok but dessert was immense! I had chocolate fudge cake with cream and ice cream.

On Sunday Mister Man came over for a wee bit and then I went to my mum's. I took her to TK Maxx and Matalan, I got a new jacket, an apron and a dustpan & brush.

And now, I'm going to try and have a nap. My throat hurts.

The Bill

I can never watch The Bill again. Fecking Louisa Bloody Lytton starts next week. She is the spit of Mister Man's daughter. Maybe she'll be rubbish and they'll kill her off.

Friday tomorrow, only 5 hours of torture to suffer before I'm released for 2.5 days.

Lawnmower Man was being a particular arse today. Lorna and I spent most of the day with our mouths open in disgust/amazement. We cant believe the way he speaks to people, its horrible.

Its now 60 hours that I have been ignoring Mister Man. Lubbly Jubbly.

I have lost 6lbs. I did 2 weeks on Slimfast but it was pants so I went onto my own wee diet, and have shifted 6lbs in total. But that is without exercise so I suspect I will need to get active if I really want to tone up. My mum bought me a hula hoop but I’m not sure how much ‘work’ that entails, and if it will really shift any of the blubber. Also I can’t keep it on my hips so I spend most of the time bending down to pick the damn thing up off the floor. Kerry has suggested we go to water aerobics which I really like the idea of, I just don’t like the idea of having to start washing my hair at 9.30pm which is the earliest time we would be home for afterwards. I guess if I really want to tone up then I will just have to bite the bullet……..(does hoovering once every three months count as regular exercise?)

My Toboggan-bogging prince was at the bus stop this morning. All he said was “good morning” and “how are you”. We are yet to finalise the wedding arrangements. Kerry was eyeing him up on the bus, I could tell she was jealous of my catch. Maybe she could be another of his wives. I wouldn’t mind, it would be company for me when I move over to Tobago.

I have ignored Mister Man for 26 hours now. By ‘ignoring’ I mean that I haven’t replied to the one email he sent me yesterday morning. I suspect he isn’t bothered one way or the other. I decided at the weekend (for the 145th time) that we are entirely finished and I will disregard any attempts he makes at contact. I don’t know why he continues to drag this mess out. He’d be doing us both a big favour if he just let it (and me) go. Leaving the path clear for my Toboggan-bogging Prince.

Work Sux

Groaaaan. First day back was mince. Every day is mince so at least its consistent.

Mayday Heyday

Long weekend was a bit of a non starter, spent a lot of time mooning around like a wee lost soul.....and now its almost time to go back to work!

My bruv visited me on Friday. I went to Tesco on Saturday. I visited Leanne in her new flat on Sunday. And I visited my gran and went to dinner at my mum's today!

I think the weather's made everyone a bit depressed. On the plus side, I hardly spent any money and reckon I'll be able to buy all the bits for my walk in wardrobe type thing for the boxroom. I filled a black bag to the top (overflowing actually) of horrible old clothes to chuck out in preparation....although by the time its all installed I'll probably have bought a whole load of crap to replace the crap I'm flinging out!

I Like Driving In My Dave

Went on first official roadtrip of summer yesterday! Lovely stuff, driving on a long straight road chatting about nothing with groovy music on. Visited Helen and gave her birthday card and present.....while Kerry chased the bunnies in the garden. Then went to Tesco (of course) and spent a small fortune on yoghurt & teabags.

On Saturday it was my gran's 80th birthday, so there was cake & jelly babies all round! Am not doing so well on the Slimfast diet eh!

And now I need to get ready to go and visit SM in her new(ish) flat. Armed with a chocolate fudge cake from M&S, cant wait!

Jaysus I am drunk! Or so tired that I feel drunk. Went to Kerry's last night for dinner and never got home til 3am! I'm drinking juice and water like a fish trying to flush out the alcohol as I need to drive to Troon later on!

Here's Kerry at her best:

The Beenymeister!

She's back! And so are all the ole thickos that dont listen to her advice. Fab!

Well first day back at work was not toooo bad. Buses were like a dream. Lawnmower Man was in a meeting all day so I got minimal hassle from him. Kerry was keeping me amused for the main part, and Mister Man text from his cruise ship but I was cheeky to him so scared him off. I just cant help myself.

Yesterday I went here, I took my granny and grampa as they love a wee gander about. I didnt spend a penny (as there's only about 4 shops) and I had a nice wee day out. My gran got 2 pairs of shoes so at least someone done well!

Only 2 sleeps til Friday, vvvvv excited; a) cos its Friday & b) Mister Man is back on the island!!

Memories....of the way we were....

I'm missing Mister Man! And I'm not afraid to admit it. The big fecker. Its been 5 weeks and a day since I last seen him. He's out the country just now on holiday. Meanwhile I'm eating food as quick as I'm buying it.

I'm turning the boxroom into a walk in wardrobe/dressing room; very SATC! Sans the Jimmy Choos and Louboutins (didnt win the lottery...I will though).

Only one more day of holidays...think I will have a wee vodka.

Positive Thinking

I am going to win the lottery tonight.

I am I am I am.

Kim Wilde - You Keep Me Hangin' On

Is it very wrong to have had this on repeat for the last 3 days?

L in work was pissing herself laughing at me today.

Its vintage (or retro?)!

"So Here It Comes, The Sound of Drums...."

Firmly settled on couch in pyjamas watching telly. Lovely stuff.

Just back from a meal with Kerry, it made Monday not seem so bad! We should do it all the time, especially now as summer is coming in! My meal was lubberly, mmmm. We didnt have pud so no photos.

And today was my Wednesday! I'm off Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. God I cannot wait for the actual Wednesday night to roll around.

4 weeks yesterday since I seen Mister Man. Doin well.

Is Simon having a giraffe making Sinitta an X Factor judge? Is that an April's Fool?? I hope so. She's crap and I dont think I will be watching if that is true. Getting rid of Kate; good move! Hiring Sinitta; rotten move!

Am mad at myself. Because I slept through a text last night. Every weekend I sleep lightly just incase. But the one Saturday night I fall asleep early and sleep right thru, thats the night the text comes through.

No matter I guess. Sure I never missed anything.

Went through to Livingston today for shop shop shopping. Bought tablemats, a flask (so I can take my soup to work...and its purple!) and quite a few bits for my mum's birthday. Oooh and a Tazo Tea from Starbucks, but it wasnt as nice as the tazo tea in Glasgow.

Omg I was driving round the multi storey carpark in Livingston looking for a space, there was none on the 2nd floor so I started to drive up to the 3rd floor but as I was on the uphill bendy bit to the next floor there was another car coming down- THE WRONG WAY!! So I had to reverse around and down the multi storey carpark bit to let the other car come down. Flamin women drivers!! After I'd let her come down I went back up, the 3rd floor carpark was all cordoned off so instead of driving up the 4th floor she had decided to exit via the entrance bit. Tsk, honestly. Its just as well I'm a fabulous driver .

Dreading work tomorrow. Definitely definitely going to fill in a holiday form. Definitely. Maybe Thursday & Friday of this week. Ooh that sounds lovely cos we all have Monday off, a nice long weekend. The only problem with holidays is that I never want to go back to work after them.

Tomorrow night I'm going out for a meal with Kerry for some pizza or maybe arrabiata as that is low fat (I'm still a rhino/hippo). Havent seen Kerry since January so I'm sure we'll have plenty to talk about!

Lalalaaaaaaa!

I have rhinocerositis! Been given nosedrops and have to go back to docs in a month if I still have my cough. Another month of this cough and I will have no throat left.

Dave passed his MOT, not with flying colours though. Needed a few bits and bobs but he'll be fine next year as I'm not driving him a fraction as much as I used to.

Telly is up and running, trying my hardest not to spend the rest of my life in bed.

FRIDAY TOMORROWWWWWWWWWWW!

(And payday!)

Tazo Tealicious! With banana bread - immense!!

My new telly arrived today. Unfortunately I cant watch it as I dont have an aerial, but am hoping I will have that sorted by the weekend so I dont need to get out of bed AT ALL. Oh but I do need to get out of bed because I have an appointment on Saturday. Well there's nothing on telly on Saturday morning anyway.

Had a crap day at work today. Absolutely utterly hate work with a passion. I'm going to the doctor on Wednesday so here's hoping he signs me off for 3 years. I'm not sure 'Hatred of Work' is an acceptable illness though.

Dave's going in for his MOT & service this week. I cant remember which day though. I'm sooooooooo skint. I'm scared to go into my bank account. And my mortgage is an extra £200 next month because I need to pay extra interest or something.....not sure.

Money money money.

Mmmmm Bisto....(cept its banana bread)

Mmmm wish banana bread would hurry up and cook. But I have another hour to wait. Nearly made schoolboy error and put in 1lb of sugar instead of 1lb of bananas, that would NOT have been nice. Made soup again tonight, a different one this time, is luuurvely.

Weekend was fairly uneventful (very uneventful if you compare it to last weekend!!!!).

Work is uneventful as ever, I still hate it. Lawnmower Man was off today so that made it slightly more enjoyable. And he's on a course Thursday & Friday waahey!!