Like a Baby's Bottom!

I have in my possession my magical face creams!!

I have Origins Never A Dull Moment, Origins Clear Improvement, and Boots No. 7 Fancy Pants Moisturiser Stuff.

Currently blogging with my fancy pants face mask on, I cant wait to be beautiful!!

hOLy mOLy

Work is SO boring. Seriously I am utterly demented. Its so boring I'm too bored to even talk about it. I left at 4.30pm bang on as I had an urgent mission to get home before 5.35. I felt like Lara Croft, power walking down St. Vincent Street. On the way down I seen 3 Arriva buses drive past, no doubt all of them would have been mine. Miraculously I made it home for 5.25, it was amazing, I havent managed to get home for before 6pm in months!!! I settled down with my beans on toast to watch Neighbours, I was desperate to see Izzy from Neighbours. I heart Izzy, she's immense.

My special magical creams that are going to make me beautiful have been delivered to my parents and my dad's going to bring me them tomorrow. Tomorrow night I will be exfoliated, face masked and moisturised up! Oh yes! And then Thursday morning I will wake up looking like (a much fatter and shorter) Claudia Schiffer. Very excited.

Mister Man came over last night. Lubby jubbly! I told him he's not allowed back over til his birthday weekend - I cant wait til his birthday weekend! I'm going to buy his favourite fudge donuts from Aulds and we're gonna munch them, open presents and snog.

I got a £500 factor's bill in today.

ROSS & LIDDELL SUCK!!!! THIEVING B*******

A Closed Book

I received one of those quizzy emails during the week. You know the ones, there's a list of about 30 questions such as "eye colour, favourite ice cream flavour, what colour's your underwear".

I filled in all my answers and sent it out to three people. One of whom was Mister Man who I never expected in a million years to send back to me. But he did.

One of the questions was "who do you miss the most". His answer was "my parents". Both his parents died of cancer, first his dad when he was a young teen and then his mum in his early twenties.

Just a few days before I'd been having a wee think about how he never mentions his parents, ever ever. I remember bringing his mum up once and he changed the subject. Stupidly I wondered if they had mis-treated him and that's why he never spoke about them. Eejit that I am.

Anyway, it broke my heart reading that one answer. It broke my heart that he misses them so much and it broke my heart that I didnt know it.

I wish he would talk to me more.

Another Weekend Over

Gads what a wet and miserable weekend. Made even more miserable by the fact that the whole world and their granny is off tomorrow for a long weekend except me! (And my fellow colleagues obviously). But its not all bad. Lawnmower man is off alllllllllll week so cant complain too much.

I had a rubbish night's sleep so managed to flaming sleep in til after 10am today. Popped over to my mum's to drop off my dad's sat nav gadgie then picked Kerry up at Braehead and went to Xscape for lunch. That's twice in 2 days I've been there.....and looking down now at my protruding belly it shows!! Think I'll need to skip dinner!

OMG the pelican nesting on my roof is seriously driving me bananas!!

R.I.P June in the Afternoon. You'll be missed by us all.

Litte Miss Pee Your Pants

Just had conversation with guy next door. He was drunk, I knew this the second I seen him, dont ask me how, but I did.

Anyway I digress, he asked me if Pee Your Pants was anything to do with me, i.e. was she my friend. I told him "no" and also told him that I phoned the Police (who took her away) and my bruv. He said she had tried to get into his flat using keys but he got up out his bed and opened the door and told her to go away (think he put it a bit nicer than that though). He had his work that morning (which I had already worked out anyway....just call me Miss Marple) so he was keen to get back to his bed. Next he said he was watching her through his peephole and he seen her head down the stairs and then come back up them and just sit outside my door. From his bed he heard the boys asking her where she lived and he heard the Police saying she had to move off down the stairs. So....we're not really any the wiser. I knew in my bones he had nothing to do with her.

I dont know whether he will remember any of the conversation as Doosan finish work at half 2 and that's him just getting home. Ah but he works shifts so would have finished earlier than half 2. Although he could have came home first to get changed and then went to pub. Unless he wasnt at work today at all (as he works shifts) and has been out since lunchtime!! Oookaaay must stop analysing every little thing, its none of my business how long he's been at the pub!!

Today was mince. Friday is my "bin lady" day when I go round all the recycle paper bins and empty them and put a new bin bag in. I do NOT enjoy this. Especially when I break a nail...sniff.

Then my mum wanted me to go to Debenhams with her as there was a huge sale on (not; also mince) so I trudged along behind her wincing in agony, my feet were absolutely killing me from shoes that are too big for me....and too pointy. I managed to force myself into buying 3 tops and 2 boobtubes, it did not alleviate the pain any but its always nice to buy new things. They were so sore I made my dad drive to the bus stop in Dave and drive me the 2 minute walk from the bus stop to my mum's house. I am a poor little soldier.

Which brings me nicely to Dave! Dave is home....back in his favourite carpark space! He smells of boy but that's ok, I'll buy him a nice air freshener next time I'm at Tesco (Note to self: need to go to Tesco urgently...you have NO food in). Other than that he's unharmed and glad to be home.

And now....its jammy time. Reeeelax dude.

Bye Bye Bertie

I went back to work. It was indeed mince. No worries. Had myself some interesting conversations with Mister Man.

I made myself a friend called Bertie. He was a wee spider who ran across my desk. I trapped him under a glass (but frequently lifted it to give him some air) and gave him a big pitta bread crumb to eat and a paperclip to play with. He was unimpressed. In the end I got one of the guys to release him back into the wild (i.e. chuck him out the window). Bertie was the highlight of my day...and I missed him when he was gone!

Think they're gonna start building the new houses behind my flat soon, check the big truck and digger (or forklift) in the distance. I cant wait to spy on all my new neighbours! Yee ha!

So Confused!!!

I've spent so long in bed that I cant remember how to work the living room remote control.

I didnt go to work today. Definitely going to work tomorrow. I am NOT taking Night Nurse tonight. That stuff is wild.

How gay is Mourinho's dog??

Heaven

Fresh duvet cover, fresh pillowcases, fresh sheets, fresh mattress topper.....

Gordon Ramsey on t'telly and tea & toast in bed!

Day 2 - Sick

Sweet Jaysus I cant believe the time!

Last night I filled myself up with painkillers and Night Nurse and settled down for double bill of the Sopranos; the result being that I slept until half past 12 this afternoon! And now its almost 3pm!!

My throat still hurts but I'm going to go back to work tomorrow (booo hisss) as I cant stay off forever. I'm a wee bit worried that I may have posion in my throat so might go to doctor's on Friday. Will have a think about that one.

Even though my throat hurts my appetite appears to be very strong. Yesterday I managed to consume a full pizza and a multitude of other foodstuffs. Today so far I've had tea, pitta bread with turkey, packet of snack a jacks and a whole chocolate easter egg. And I've only been awake for 3 hours.

I also managed to fit in some online shopping and ordered myself a bottle of Whipped Bronze St Tropez and Season 2 of the Sopranos. Oh yes indeedy Anthony Soprano will soon be mine!

I dont think Dave is enjoying his time with Uncle James. Uncle James really doesnt like Dave (which I think is a pure cheek!), I suspect the feeling is mutual. Uncle James phoned me at 7am this morning to inform me that Dave's petrol light was flashing and he was just about to enter the Clyde Tunnel!! What I didnt tell Uncle James was that Dave's petrol light was flashing when I left Dave at my mum's house on Sunday!! How Dave has not broken down yet I do not know! Uncle James is not the most observant.

Sick!

I am ill. Woke up in the middle of the night with a really awful sore throat. "Shock horror thinks me, the tonsillitis is back!", but no, it just seems to be a sore throat on its own. Very odd.

I took today off work as I thought it was tonsillitis but probably be back tomorrow (sigh).

Had a busy enough weekend. Chilled out on Friday night, I like to do nothing on Friday nights, watch Ugly Betty and reeeelax. On Saturday I went for lesbean lunch with Helen. We went to Scotts. Lunch was ok but dessert was immense! I had chocolate fudge cake with cream and ice cream.

On Sunday Mister Man came over for a wee bit and then I went to my mum's. I took her to TK Maxx and Matalan, I got a new jacket, an apron and a dustpan & brush.

And now, I'm going to try and have a nap. My throat hurts.

The Bill

I can never watch The Bill again. Fecking Louisa Bloody Lytton starts next week. She is the spit of Mister Man's daughter. Maybe she'll be rubbish and they'll kill her off.

Friday tomorrow, only 5 hours of torture to suffer before I'm released for 2.5 days.

Lawnmower Man was being a particular arse today. Lorna and I spent most of the day with our mouths open in disgust/amazement. We cant believe the way he speaks to people, its horrible.

Its now 60 hours that I have been ignoring Mister Man. Lubbly Jubbly.

I have lost 6lbs. I did 2 weeks on Slimfast but it was pants so I went onto my own wee diet, and have shifted 6lbs in total. But that is without exercise so I suspect I will need to get active if I really want to tone up. My mum bought me a hula hoop but I’m not sure how much ‘work’ that entails, and if it will really shift any of the blubber. Also I can’t keep it on my hips so I spend most of the time bending down to pick the damn thing up off the floor. Kerry has suggested we go to water aerobics which I really like the idea of, I just don’t like the idea of having to start washing my hair at 9.30pm which is the earliest time we would be home for afterwards. I guess if I really want to tone up then I will just have to bite the bullet……..(does hoovering once every three months count as regular exercise?)

My Toboggan-bogging prince was at the bus stop this morning. All he said was “good morning” and “how are you”. We are yet to finalise the wedding arrangements. Kerry was eyeing him up on the bus, I could tell she was jealous of my catch. Maybe she could be another of his wives. I wouldn’t mind, it would be company for me when I move over to Tobago.

I have ignored Mister Man for 26 hours now. By ‘ignoring’ I mean that I haven’t replied to the one email he sent me yesterday morning. I suspect he isn’t bothered one way or the other. I decided at the weekend (for the 145th time) that we are entirely finished and I will disregard any attempts he makes at contact. I don’t know why he continues to drag this mess out. He’d be doing us both a big favour if he just let it (and me) go. Leaving the path clear for my Toboggan-bogging Prince.

Work Sux

Groaaaan. First day back was mince. Every day is mince so at least its consistent.

Mayday Heyday

Long weekend was a bit of a non starter, spent a lot of time mooning around like a wee lost soul.....and now its almost time to go back to work!

My bruv visited me on Friday. I went to Tesco on Saturday. I visited Leanne in her new flat on Sunday. And I visited my gran and went to dinner at my mum's today!

I think the weather's made everyone a bit depressed. On the plus side, I hardly spent any money and reckon I'll be able to buy all the bits for my walk in wardrobe type thing for the boxroom. I filled a black bag to the top (overflowing actually) of horrible old clothes to chuck out in preparation....although by the time its all installed I'll probably have bought a whole load of crap to replace the crap I'm flinging out!